Light a fire they can’t put out
by PsychoPothead14
Summary: Harry, Hermione and Draco are Insane or Pyros. God help the Wizarding world! HP/LV,DM/HG
1. 1-Pyros and Insane Chicks

**Helluuuuu, I'm the PsychoPothead_14!**

**I don't really smoke pot so relax, but I _kinda _psycho (C'mon, my name practically tells you!)**

**This is my first fanfic so please, do be kind? I won't tolerate any flamers, so imma tell y'all right now to bugger off if you are one. I only listen to _positive_ critics.**

**This story may be M rated, but I'm not gonna stop you from reading it... (030)/**

**_Disclaimer: I'm so not gonna repeat this over and over and over again. I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER AND ITS CHARACTERS!!! J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. own Harry and his crew. So please, don't sue the broke high school girl!_**

**_Any characters I do make up belong to my imagination. [Obviously.]_**

**_Warnings-Insane!Pyro!OOC!Intelligent!Harry, OOC!Pyro!Intelligent!Draco OOC!Insane!Intelligent!Hermione.Read this somewhere where you're alone to make sure your family or friends or even roommates don't ship you off to a mental institution just coz you keep on cackling like Miz Bella Lestrange!_**

**_1-Introducing our favorite Pyros!_**

**_Harry James Potter ,Age 10_**

Harry Potter was always a strange boy.

He never cried when he was younger, even when he was used for one of his cousin Dudley's 'Harry Hunting' games when he was beat up. He always seemed to ,dare I say it, _enjoy _the pain.

When he turned seven, he started having bouts of accidental magic out of the blue. That is when shit started to go down.

He had a very disturbing fascination with Muggle Voodoo magic and (you guessed it) fire.

Fire spoke to him. He didn't understand why anyone else didn't understand its beauty. Well only one person did. It was a voice in the back of his head he dubbed Tommy.Fire danced gracefully like an exceptional prima donna, it glowed as bright as the sun. It had many uses too! It's just that Harry didn't care for them. He was just itching to see something burn to ashes! If he didn't, he would simply die! Maybe killing the Dursleys would work? He wouldn't mind to see his pig cousin squeal like his true brethren in his last moments...

Nah! He'd wait a few more years!

He needed to think this out carefully...Tommy would help him.

**_Hermione Jean Granger, Age 10_**

Hermione was such a sweet girl. Well... that's what she _wants _everyone to think.

If she didn't, she would be shipped off to the nuthouse before she could yell 'library'. Even though she had the 'smart bookworm persona' she let everyone see, there was always a dark side to her she let out every once in a while whenever she was bullied.

She never really had any friends, people would only use her for her smarts to make her do their homework for them, so what did she do to pay back their 'kindness'?

She found ways to traumatize them so badly, they'd even be afraid of their own shadows! And she never got caught. She always found a way to cover her trail of destruction.

But she always wished that there was someone like her. Who _understood _how it feels to work on a different plane than mere mortals.

At least that's what the voices in her head told her.

**_Draco Lucius Malfoy ,Age 10_**

Draco was everything a pureblood wizard heir of an Ancient and Noble house was not.

His mother and father feared for their own lives ever since Draco discovered something called fire when he was

five years old. He particularly had some problem with Narcissa's favorite Cherry blossom tree out in the back garden. She swore on her life that the first time her tree had been burnt to the ground, Draco had been standing near by in the shadows with a wicked grin on his cherubic baby face and with a packet of Lucius' matches.

Every time they asked Draco what happened, he would just smile and say:

"That ugly twee was getting too old. It needed to die anyways! Good widdance!"

An involuntary shiver would always go down the questioner's spine.

Always for his birthday or on Yule, Draco would always ask for one thing and one thing alone.

A bulk pack of matches to make 'pretty fire flowers' with.

They had tried taking him to numerous Mind Healers but they always would find nothing wrong with him. That's because the little devil would always behave in order to stay out of St. Mungos!

Lucius and Narcissa couldn't wait for Draco's Hogwarts letter to arrive in the next year. He would be Hogwarts's problem then. May God help those poor souls.

**A/N: So how was chapter one? Did I do good enough?**

**Please remember to read review my lovely little psychos!**

**XXX**

**PsychoPothead14 ;P**


	2. 2-We’re going to the zoo! Part 1

**A/N: This fic totally doesn't follow canon all the time. I just wanted to share an idea to make everyone laugh. It's gonna get grisly though... yerrrrrr...**

**Lol **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but I could if I try and assassinate J.K Rowling and buy it from her... Oh wait... I'm broke. :P**

**Notes:**

"Speaking"

_'**Thoughts**'_

**Tommy**

_"Parseltoungue"_

_ℒℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇_

_𝙽𝚎𝚠𝚜𝚙𝚊𝚙𝚎𝚛_

**_2- We're goin' to the zoo!_**

**_PART I_**

**_Harry ,1991 (PS)_**

"Get up freak! It's Dudders' birthday today and I will not have you slacking off, you freeloader! Everything must be perfect for Diddydums' breakfast!"shrieked Harry's 'loving' *cough!cough!cough!* Aunt Petunia as she banged on the door of Harry's cupboard and unlocked it.

Harry scowled at the door as he got up from his pile of rags he uses as a mattress. "Yes Aunt Petunia!"he replied in a sickly sweet voice.

He got out of his cupboard and trudged into the kitchen from the hallway.

"Don't mess up the bacon boy or you'll be in deep trouble!"warned Aunt Petunia as she was bent down in the fridge looking for orange juice.

'**_How I wish I could shove you and your bony arse into that fridge and lock you in it til you fucking FREEZE to death, you horse humanoid!_**'thought Harry, bitterly to himself.

He took out the necessities needed to make Fat Jackasses One and Two their breakfast. Once he had already began frying the bacon, the kitchen began shaking slightly.

_**OH MY GOD! GODZILLA IS OUTSIDE! SHIT! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!**' _Harry thought frantically to himself.

**"Cool your jets, childe! It's just your pig cousin,"soothed Tommy.**

**That sentence made Harry pause. '_Oh well. If ickle Dinkydums gets any bigger, he'd need to go and live in the sea with all the other baby killer whales!' snickered Harry._**

Unfortunately for him, Dudley heard him laugh as he entered the kitchen. The pig-boy scrunched up his nose and turned to his mother as she hugged him. "Mum! The freak is laughing! Make him stop!"he demanded hotly.

Petunia snapped at Harry, "Freak! Stop laughing this instant! Only good little boys like Dudley are allowed to laugh! You have no right since you're a damn freak! That's all you'll ever be!"

Harry sighed minutely. "Yes, Aunt Petunia,"he responded.

"**Don't be so glum Harry. Their time will come when you can make them scream in pain.**"assured Tommy.

_'But that time is not today Tommy! I want them to pay for everything they've done to me NOW!' Harry pouted as his back was away from his aunt and cousin._

Vernon Dursley's thunderous steps could be heard as they made their way into the kitchen. He flung the kitchen door open and as soon as he saw Dudley he yelled : "Here he is, the birthday boy! Happy Birthday son!" and gave Dudley a hug.

Once they were all settled down and had their breakfast. Dudley was about to open his presents he asked : "How many are there? This pile looks smaller than last year!"he whined.

Vernon and Petunia started sweating bullets. They didn't want to experience ANOTHER Dudley tantrum.

"Oh...Diddy..there's 36 presents."said Petunia nervously.

"Counted 'em myself!"said Vernon.

Dudley started turning red as a tomato. "THIRTY-SIX?! THAT'S TWO LESS THAN LAST YEAR!!!"he bellowed.

Harry immediately shut his ears using his small hands. He really wanted to shut Dudley up. Maybe fry him alive and feed him to Mrs. Number Seven's dog? Naw, the dog would only get food poisoning.

"Diddy! Diddydums! Don't worry! W-We'll get you THREE extra presents from the zoo!"said Petunia, cutting off Dudley's rant.

Dudley smirked. Then he started to frown. "Then that would be... um...thirty— thirty..."he said, trying to figure out how many presents he'd have.

"Thirty-nine, darling!"said Petunia.

"Oh. I knew that. Just wanted you to say it."said Dudley, calmed down.

Just then , the kitchen telephone buzzed. Petunia strode over across the room to answer it.

"Hello! This Petunia Dursley."she greeted chirpily.

Pause.

Petunia's face began to sour. "What do you mean you can't take him?!"she half shrieked, glaring at Harry.

Harry gave the good ol' WTF face. How in the hell was this HIS fault? Just because something was up with his babysitter, Mrs Figg, the resident cat lady, DOESN'T mean he did shit! Damn Dursleys. Just 'cause he set his teacher, Miss Flynn's wig on fire by _accident. _He didn't even have any matches on him that time! But fire did make Miss Flynn look very pretty...

No! Getting back with the story:

The call lasted for another 3 minutes. Petunia turned back to his pig husband and son. "Bad news boys. Mrs Figg can't look after the freak. So we have to bring him with us too the zoo..."she all but spat.

Harry couldn't believe it. He was finally going to get a chance to go to the zoo for the first time! He really did love animals. He always wanted to have his own army of gorillas!

Vernon turned puce. "Why not leave him with your friend Yvonne?"he ground out.

"She's on holiday in Majorca. Won't be back for another week."

'_Why the hell are they talking about me as if I'm not even here? I'm not some object!'Harry thought sadly._

Dudley started crying then. Well...not really crying. More like screwing up his face and wailing. The boy hadn't shed a real tear in over 6 years!

"M—uuummmm! I d-don't w-ant th-at-t FREAK spe-ending MY BIRTHDAY w-ith me 'n' Piers at the zoo! It's MY special day!"he 'cried'.

'_Wow. Way to kill my vibe Dudley.'thought Harry._

Petunia hugged Dudley tightly. "Oh Dudders! I know you don't want him there, but we have to! Nobody's available to look after him! If you behave, we'll get you a nice knickerbocker glory at the zoo, yes?"she soothed.

"Mmhm. Okay. The freak can come." Dudley grinned menacingly at Harry through his mother's arms.

A shiver went up Harry's spine.

'_Why do I feel as if this day is about to get reeeeal shitty?' he thought nervously._

**A/N: I wonder how I did... \\(o3o)/**

**Please remember to read on review my lovely little psychos!**

**XXX**

**PsychoPothead14 **


	3. We’re going to the zoo Part 2

**Notes:**

'_**Thoughts**'_

"Speaking**"**

_"_**Tommy**_"_

**"**_Parseltoungue_**"**

ℒℯ𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓇𝓈

𝙽𝚎𝚠𝚜𝚙𝚊𝚙𝚎𝚛

**_3-We're going to the zoo! Part 2 (Hey! That rhymes neh?)_**

**_Still Harry POV _**

**_Half an hour later..._**

Harry and the Dursleys along with Dudley's rat-faced best friend, Piers Polkiss, were looking around all the habitats at the zoo. Harry was extra careful to walk a short distance away from Dudley and Piers, since during the whole car ride to the zoo, had been pinching and poking him. He did not need that on a rare treat day.

After another few minutes, Dudley started to complain about being hungry. They went and stopped to eat at the zoo's cafe. Dudley and Piers ordered two Knickerbocker Glorys while Harry, much to his delight was allowed to order himself a cheeseburger with fries (sadly no Coke was permitted. His aunt and uncle rather he choke to death.)

When they had finished their lunch, they set off for the Reptile Enclosure. Dudley and Piers had wanted to see the Boa constrictor that was on show for the day.

That was the beginning of shit going down.

Dudley and Piers had their fugly faces pressed against the glass, effectively traumatizing the poor snake every time it looked back at them. Harry was standing a short distance, shaking his head with pity for the Constrictor.

Once those two had finished trying to get the great snake to move, Harry immediately went to it. He began to speak to it.** (obviously he didn't know he could speak Parseltoungue yet! *PsychoPothead rolls her eyes*)**

"_Sorry about those ugly gits. I'm pretty sure that you're permanently scarred from seeing their faces." _Harry said.

The snake nodded back vigorously.

'_**Dafuq? How the hell is this thing understanding what I'm talking about? Is my cuckoo finally shining through? I thought I could act normal! There's no way I'm getting shipped off to the loony bin, no matter how much I deserve it. If this snake can understand me... then I could create a SNAKE ARMY!! Yeeeeessss...**'Harry thought gleefully._

"_Hey...can you understand me? Nod once for yes and do nothing for no.'_

The snake nodded.

Harry's thin and pale face lit up. "_Wow! Hey, I was wondering...If I set you free, would you be interested in joining me for my snake army. You can have all the zookeepers you want!_"said Harry.

The Boa Constictor paused for a moment as if in thought.

It nodded.

Just then, Harry felt all his oxygen knocked out of his lungs as his fat cousin pushed him to the floor.

"Mr and Mrs Dursley! You've got to see this! This snake is moving and stuff!"yelled Piers, pushing his ratty face against the glass yet again.

Harry was still on the floor, fuming. How DARE Dudley and his friend interrupt him during a deal! He was so close to completing the first step for his snake army!

For a moment, something dark stirred deep within. No one, not even himself, had noticed his eyes flashing crimson.

The glass separating the snake from humans suddenly ceased to exist. Harry smirked as Dudley and Piers fell into the enclosure, getting wet in the process. Petunia shrieked as she saw ickle Diddykins flailing in the murky water.

The constrictor saw an opportunity to escape and took it. As it passed a still fuming Harry, it hissed to him:

"_Sorry Amigo, but I wanna go see Brazil man. Maybe I'll join your army some day..._" It slunk off after that.

"Why that traitor! How DARE he! He should be—!"Harry started growling but was cut off by an angry Vernon pulling him to the car with a trembling Dudley and Piers and a sobbing Petunia following behind.

"You won't be getting food for a whole week, you fugly freak!" Vernon hissed at him.

Harry's eyes widened. He knew bad shit would always happen to him...

**Thanx for following and favoriting this story! Love y'all **

**XXX**

**PsychoPothead14 ***


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